Texts of Antiquity VIII: Waste Management (Antenna #37, Miami Beach, 1990)
Waste Management: Shhh... Don't Wake Her!
Perhaps the best of the lot. (Certainly my favorite.) Alas, only one more installment would follow before Antenna closed its one, rickety door for good. The hotel in which its offices sat has long since been bulldozed...
Christy's eyes are closed, her delicate lashes hand-painted. Her chubby cheeks are kissed with a newborn's warm blush. Christy's dainty mouth is slightly puckered, and her tiny hands and pudgy baby feet are sculpted in natural positions. Christy's outfit is hand-tailored in cotton-blend, cradle-print fabric and trimmed in frilly white eyelet and yellow bows. Once you've held this little bundle of love in your arms, you won't want to put her down!
---
December 7 (Saturday)
One Million Years B.C.
(year of release: 1966/network: TBS/air time: 12:05 p.m./allocated time: 120m./actual running time: 100m.)
Hardnosed cop Edwards relentlessly dogs paranoid villian Connors who's out to waste those he imagines have wronged him. Why leave those great photos buried in an album, or lost in a drawer? The first in The Beatles Collection hallmarked by Delphi in afflilation with the Bradford Exchange! (Polypropylene cone, water-resistant mylar whizzer cone.)
December 8 (Sunday)
A Dangerous Profession
(1949/AMC/8:30 a.m./90m./79m.)
This silly pothead comedy breaks down all resistance with its cheerful vignettes about two dummies in search of "good grass." Aunt Clara is the cause of a 12-state electrical blackout. Full color on fine china; rimmed in 22-karat gold. (Flashing "P" warns of instant-on/Radar.)
December 9 (Monday)
A Safe Place
(1971/TMC/6:25 a.m./95m./94m.)
Hard to put into words the impact of this monumental silent epic. Dieudonne mesmerizingly plays the famed emperor; notable sequences include snowball fight, the Reign of Terror, and
eye-popping Polyvision finale. Limited to a maximum of 150 firing days! (PlayXchange, S-bit technology, single-bit D/A converrters.)
December 11 (Wednesday)
Death: The Ultimate Mystery
(1979/NOST/4 p.m./120m./?)
Brutal but stylish bio of the real-life twins (one gay, one straight) who ruled London's underworld in the 1960s, aided immeasurably by the title-role casting of two sibling brothers (not twins) of the Brit pop group The Plight of a Flu Sufferer. Created from a Nate Giorgio original painted exclusively for this limited edition! (Hear and feel the difference Surround Sound makes!)
December 13 (Friday)
The Legend of Tom Dooley
(1959/MAX/4:30 p.m./90m./79m.)
Harmless but highly improbable account of the trials and tribulations of a spastic cheerleading squad and its overage instructor. Add plenty of patience, spare time, and top it off with pride. Rated a top market prospect! (12 color pallet, 28 pre-recorded shapes, electronic eraser, selection of sounds.)
December 14 (Saturday)
Black Gunn
(1972/TNT/1:20 a.m./120m./98m.)
Mitchell is torn between his girl and his horse in this colorful but routine equestrian drama. A communications gap develops between the Douglasses and their Chinese neighbors. Comes with a matching hand-numbered Certificate of Authenticity! (Desk/wall mountable.)
December 15 (Sunday)
Five
(1951/TNT/2 a.m./120m./93m.)
Bugle Ann is a very special fox-hunting hound, lovingly raised by Missouri farmer Barrymore. Trouble comes when an antisocial, dog-hating sheepherder becomes his remote-controlled net to capture a jaguar. Our highest rating and your assurance of superior artistry and craftsmanship! (Touch latch doors, dual wheel casters.)
December 16 (Monday)
The Mob
(1951/TNT/4 p.m./120m./87m.)
Inventor creates an android son as the brother his teenage daughter always wanted, but a ruthless toy tycoon sees dollar signs instead. Cases: a plane crash, a poisioned child and a burgler with a heart attack. Once the edition closes, collectors' demand could exceed the supply of plates and force asking prices up dramatically! (Two passive radiators.)
December 17 (Tuesday)
The Phenix City Story
(1955/TNT/2:25 p.m./125m./100m.)
Atrocious, wildly inconsistent "comedy" about a teenage boy's sexual awakening -- and embarrassment. If you had acquired "Elvis at the Gates of Graceland," an exceptional entertainment-theme plate also from Delphi, you would now own a plate valued at $135.00 -- over five times its 1988 issue price! (Attractive, cube design.)
December 18 (Wednesday)
Tight Spot
(1955/TNT/12 p.m./125m./97m.)
Taut caper in post-WW2 Berlin involving a planned heist of gold from the air lift circuit. The LeFevres, the Inspirations, the Dixie Echoes and the Florida Boys are surveyed in man-in-the-street interviews. A precious Yolanda Bello issue at an irresistible price! (Can play 3" CDs.)
December 19 (Thursday)
Miami Exposé
(1956/TNT/12 p.m./90m./73m.)
Ordinary couple, with young son and aunt in tow, rent an old mansion as summer home, unaware that it's haunted. Strange occurences lead to totally predictable prize-winning play about the pains of adolescence. Fired in an edition ending forever in 1992, after which molds for this doll will be broken! (Factory-set security code, 59 minute sleep timer.)
-Tom Smith
Perhaps the best of the lot. (Certainly my favorite.) Alas, only one more installment would follow before Antenna closed its one, rickety door for good. The hotel in which its offices sat has long since been bulldozed...
Christy's eyes are closed, her delicate lashes hand-painted. Her chubby cheeks are kissed with a newborn's warm blush. Christy's dainty mouth is slightly puckered, and her tiny hands and pudgy baby feet are sculpted in natural positions. Christy's outfit is hand-tailored in cotton-blend, cradle-print fabric and trimmed in frilly white eyelet and yellow bows. Once you've held this little bundle of love in your arms, you won't want to put her down!
---
December 7 (Saturday)
One Million Years B.C.
(year of release: 1966/network: TBS/air time: 12:05 p.m./allocated time: 120m./actual running time: 100m.)
Hardnosed cop Edwards relentlessly dogs paranoid villian Connors who's out to waste those he imagines have wronged him. Why leave those great photos buried in an album, or lost in a drawer? The first in The Beatles Collection hallmarked by Delphi in afflilation with the Bradford Exchange! (Polypropylene cone, water-resistant mylar whizzer cone.)
December 8 (Sunday)
A Dangerous Profession
(1949/AMC/8:30 a.m./90m./79m.)
This silly pothead comedy breaks down all resistance with its cheerful vignettes about two dummies in search of "good grass." Aunt Clara is the cause of a 12-state electrical blackout. Full color on fine china; rimmed in 22-karat gold. (Flashing "P" warns of instant-on/Radar.)
December 9 (Monday)
A Safe Place
(1971/TMC/6:25 a.m./95m./94m.)
Hard to put into words the impact of this monumental silent epic. Dieudonne mesmerizingly plays the famed emperor; notable sequences include snowball fight, the Reign of Terror, and
eye-popping Polyvision finale. Limited to a maximum of 150 firing days! (PlayXchange, S-bit technology, single-bit D/A converrters.)
December 11 (Wednesday)
Death: The Ultimate Mystery
(1979/NOST/4 p.m./120m./?)
Brutal but stylish bio of the real-life twins (one gay, one straight) who ruled London's underworld in the 1960s, aided immeasurably by the title-role casting of two sibling brothers (not twins) of the Brit pop group The Plight of a Flu Sufferer. Created from a Nate Giorgio original painted exclusively for this limited edition! (Hear and feel the difference Surround Sound makes!)
December 13 (Friday)
The Legend of Tom Dooley
(1959/MAX/4:30 p.m./90m./79m.)
Harmless but highly improbable account of the trials and tribulations of a spastic cheerleading squad and its overage instructor. Add plenty of patience, spare time, and top it off with pride. Rated a top market prospect! (12 color pallet, 28 pre-recorded shapes, electronic eraser, selection of sounds.)
December 14 (Saturday)
Black Gunn
(1972/TNT/1:20 a.m./120m./98m.)
Mitchell is torn between his girl and his horse in this colorful but routine equestrian drama. A communications gap develops between the Douglasses and their Chinese neighbors. Comes with a matching hand-numbered Certificate of Authenticity! (Desk/wall mountable.)
December 15 (Sunday)
Five
(1951/TNT/2 a.m./120m./93m.)
Bugle Ann is a very special fox-hunting hound, lovingly raised by Missouri farmer Barrymore. Trouble comes when an antisocial, dog-hating sheepherder becomes his remote-controlled net to capture a jaguar. Our highest rating and your assurance of superior artistry and craftsmanship! (Touch latch doors, dual wheel casters.)
December 16 (Monday)
The Mob
(1951/TNT/4 p.m./120m./87m.)
Inventor creates an android son as the brother his teenage daughter always wanted, but a ruthless toy tycoon sees dollar signs instead. Cases: a plane crash, a poisioned child and a burgler with a heart attack. Once the edition closes, collectors' demand could exceed the supply of plates and force asking prices up dramatically! (Two passive radiators.)
December 17 (Tuesday)
The Phenix City Story
(1955/TNT/2:25 p.m./125m./100m.)
Atrocious, wildly inconsistent "comedy" about a teenage boy's sexual awakening -- and embarrassment. If you had acquired "Elvis at the Gates of Graceland," an exceptional entertainment-theme plate also from Delphi, you would now own a plate valued at $135.00 -- over five times its 1988 issue price! (Attractive, cube design.)
December 18 (Wednesday)
Tight Spot
(1955/TNT/12 p.m./125m./97m.)
Taut caper in post-WW2 Berlin involving a planned heist of gold from the air lift circuit. The LeFevres, the Inspirations, the Dixie Echoes and the Florida Boys are surveyed in man-in-the-street interviews. A precious Yolanda Bello issue at an irresistible price! (Can play 3" CDs.)
December 19 (Thursday)
Miami Exposé
(1956/TNT/12 p.m./90m./73m.)
Ordinary couple, with young son and aunt in tow, rent an old mansion as summer home, unaware that it's haunted. Strange occurences lead to totally predictable prize-winning play about the pains of adolescence. Fired in an edition ending forever in 1992, after which molds for this doll will be broken! (Factory-set security code, 59 minute sleep timer.)
-Tom Smith
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